It's about the relationships

I’ve been a member of the NW Christian Speakers Bureau for several years. I love speaking and sharing what God has done in my life. But over the past year, several things have occurred that have prevented me from taking any speaking engagements. It’s been a variety of different circumstances. Each time, I asked God, “Why?” and sensed God saying “just trust ME”. Finally, this past month, I felt that God was telling me to completely remove my name from the bureau’s listing and concentrate on my construction business. It didn’t make any sense to me. Sharing God’s message to hundreds of women vs running a construction company??? Then God reminded me that there were people to be reached right where I’m at. “But God” I whined, “we’re talking about a handful of people as opposed to hundreds!” And he said, “It’s about the relationships, not the numbers.”

So instead I asked him for something big that I could do for the orphans. And he said, “What about Kate? What about Kanani?” And I said, “But God, that’s only two”. And he said again “It’s not about the numbers. It’s not even just about a relationship. It’s about the depth of the relationship.”

In January, Kanani came to our Hope 1.27 meeting. Afterwards, she was visibly upset and I questioned her. She talked angrily about the comfort bags. “Do you really think a bag with a toothbrush and pajamas is going to make a difference??” At first I was offended. “We put a lot of love into those bags,” I thought defensively. But then I took a deep breath and really listened to what she was saying. In a lot of ways, it’s was cop-out, an easy way to assuage our conscience, to convince ourselves that we’re helping the orphans. It was safe…not messy.

But Kanani went back to Iraq and it was convenient to forget that conversation, to convince myself that what we were doing was important and that it was unrealistic to think that we could have a deeper impact. After all, there’s an awful lot of needy kids out there. What we were doing was better than nothing, right?

Then, in that persistent way that God works, I ran across an article that shook my core. It was an article in “Discipleship Journal” and it talks about a group of Christians doing inner-city work. Too often our work of “helping the needy” really comes across to those we’re helping as just another opportunity for a Christian photo-op. We’re sending a message that says “I’m privileged and you’re not - let me fix you.” We project a message of pride, of self-righteousness. We pop in, offer a quick-fix and then we walk away, patting ourselves on the back for our good works, and shaking our heads at the fact that they don’t want to be like us. We forget that this is not the message of humility that Christ taught as he walked this earth.

Jesus took the time to form relationships. He was a friend to sinners. He spent more time relating and less time helping. He didn’t teach God’s love by putting together care packages. He taught God’s love by investing in the lives of others. If we follow his example, we may only impact a few people during our lifetime. But I sense, once again, God saying “It’s not about the numbers. It’s not just about a relationship. It’s about the depth of the relationship.”

What if we took all the money and all of the time we’ve each invested into our ministry projects over the years and instead, each invested that much into one relationship, maybe with one orphan, maybe with one widow, maybe with one single parent, maybe with one drug addict or alcoholic, developed over time? A radical thought? Maybe? But what would Jesus do?